Jewish Mayhem
Issue 13
Punk Judaism Media
COMING SOON


Dildos, vibrators, cock rings, anal beads, and vibrating anal bead dildos with attached cock rings, these are common words that are commonly used in the liberal Judaen lexicon, at least in the bedrooms.
Your thinking now: ‘Wait, hold on Josh, I don’t use those words in the bedroom nor do I use those things, and what the fuck is a Judaen?’
My response is: Not yet, and secondly Judaen is your real ethnic name, not Jew.
I hate to be the one to break the news but Judaens are generally pretty kinky and horny people and we always have been so. Raw, lusty sex is part of our national heritage and history, to some extent.
Here is one example of many juicy bits:
“Yet she multiplied her whoredoms, in calling to remembrance the days of her youth, wherein she had played the harlot in the land of Egypt. For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.”
(Ezekiel 23: 19-21)
“and lusted after her paramours there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose emission was like that of stallions.”
(Ezekiel 23: 21, NRSV)
I’ll bet your Rabbi never taught you about this juicy Biblical porn, and that is just the tip of the orgasm, as they say. While the Judaen people did not write the Kama Sutra, god bless India, we can be rest assured that a Judaen was behind the distribution and sales of the Sutra. On the other hand, we have the Tanach which has many stories and Dr Ruth Westheimer, and she kicks the shit out of the Kama Sutra any day.
Anyways, what the point of this article is of an original video below that I put only recently put together . It’s of the world’s first and only Golem vibrator that sings Barry White songs to vaginas. Pretty cool huh? I thought so too. Also, XXX pornstar icon Nikki Benz, wishes a L’haim to Jewish Mayhem.
[hana-flv-player video="http://jewishmayhem.com/video/Barry_dildo2.flv" width="500" height="460" description="The Golem Vibrating Dildo" player="4" autoload="true" autoplay="false" loop="false" autorewind="true" /]

Dreamtheater keyboardist Jordan Rudess
Interview With Master Musician Jordan Rudess of Dream Theater PT 1
I would like to introduce you to a master musician with over 30 years of experience which began at The Juilliard School, the keyboardist for the world famous progressive rock band Dream Theater, Jordan Rudess.
http://www.jordanrudess.com
http://www.myspace.com/jordanrudess
http://www.dreamtheater.net
http://www.myspace.com/dreamtheater
Here is a sample of Dream Theater live, with a lot of focus on Jordan’s live performance.
Interviewer: Jewish Mayhem
Video: James Dowdell: http://www.bonetrigger.ca
Location: Pantages – Toronto, ON, CAN
date: fri, aug, 14th
Interview arranged by Christopher Buttner http://www.prthatrocks.com/
Representing the best in entertainment, talent, and technology since 1994.
Jordan Rudess is in my opinion one of most talented and innovative rock musicians alive today, which is a pretty bold statement to make, however as you will see this from the interview and from the youtube video of a Dream Theater performance, he is a very talented, intelligent, concise, and a very progressive, future-now kind of thinker.
Jewish Mayhem had the amazing opportunity to meet “The Wizard” and to interview him before the Dream Theater concert later that day at the Molsons Ampitheater, to a completely sold out, capacity crowd. He was very generous to Jewish Mayhem with his time and patient with my mayhem and gave to me and to you, a special, live performance and demonstration of one of his projects: the JR Hexatone Pro – a unique iPhone sound sequencing app, which you can acquire here: JR Hexatone Pro . Jordan uses the Hexatone live on stage during Dream Theater’s performances, which I was able to see live that night, and the entire capacity crowd was completely mezmerized by his masterful, 21st century musical performance from beginning to the end.
Here is Jordan’s promotional video for the JR Hexatone
I was blessed to get a very rich Dream Theater experience from sitting in the 3rd row, courtesy of Jordan himself, and then to go backstage after the show to the musicians lounge to thank Jordan again and to also meet rest of the band, and as it so happened, members of other bands such as Big Elf.
Enjoy!
PART 1[pro-player width='400' height='400' type='video']http://jewishmayhem.com/video/JordanRudess1.flv[/pro-player]
PART 2[pro-player width='400' height='400' type='video']http://jewishmayhem.com/video/JordanRudess2.flv[/pro-player]
PART 3[pro-player width='400' height='400' type='video']http://jewishmayhem.com/video/JordanRudess3.flv[/pro-player]


According Jewish Mayhem’s Gazan media sources; due to Israel’s successful crippling blockade on Gaza, coupled with Egypt’s recent construction of it’s ground-breaking, underground, Arab-Apartheid wall, Hamas is resorting to using extreme measures in order to generate needed funds for it’s war effort on Israel: Hamas is entering the world sexual prosthetic industry by marketing it’s first line of dildos to Gazan women in late 2010, called Pal-Esnises.
Seeing their income dwindle from the smuggled import of drugs and white prostitutes from Eastern Europe in the last few months Hamasa has ahd to come up with new means of income. Hamas ordered Hamas’ most well endowed men to appear to the Koos Amak Mosque in Gaza city, and drop their drawers for Palestine in order to be casted as molds for the new line of sex toys. Inside sources in Hamas that need to remain anonymous told Jewish Mayhem via intermediaries, that the due to the small sizes of the Hamas members penises the entire project was in jeapordy; but the project was rescued when they finally settled for purchasing three generic models that were already available in China, which ironically were modeled after Jewish xxx legends Ron Jeremy, and Even Stone.
According to Jewish Mayhem’s sources in American Intelligence Community, this move by Hamas is direct retaliation to Hassan Nasrallah and to Hezbolla’s fighters recent acts of insulting Hamas fighter’s honor and dignity at joint terrorist events, parties and functions. “Hamas vows to be the biggest dicks on the terrorist block.” Is how Hamas leader Khaled Mashaal put it one insider claims.
The Pal-Esnises come in two colors black and flesh colored, and in one size, large. They should be available for sale off of Hamas official website

For the last two thousand years, the tattoo has been universally recognized as a sign of shame to the Tribes of Israel and for thousands of years a symbol of everything that is vapid, corrupt and finite about the Gentile world.

Jewish Mayhem Online Magazine
In our holy Torah, in sefer Leviticus (Vayikra) 19:28, it is explicitly written that Jews are not allowed tattoos. Why tattoos are forbidden to Jews exactly is not explained anywhere else in the Torah but the topic is elaborated on in numerous locations in the Talmud, which only compound the gravity of violating this prohibition.
The Levitical prohibition is a non-sensical prohibition in the sense that we do not know why the Creator forbid us from getting tattoos because it is not explained explicitly like in the cases of other laws mentioned. We are able to deduce notions as to the Creator’s reasons, such as that it is an abomination or that it is what the Canaanite nations did in those Biblical times and we had to be different from them, but we do not have a specific, simple explanation. In leu of this law’s simplicity, it is completely fair and proper to deduce and to state that tattoos are utterly and completely not Jewish, or Judaic or Hebraic in any sense or capacity based on the ultimate Jewish source, the Torah.
There have been a few instances in Jewish history and culture that we know of when multitudes of Judaeans were tattooed in such numbers as they are today, but in stark contrast to today’s phenomenon which is by choice, every other time in Jewish history, Judaeans were forcefully tattooed en masse by Gentiles as sign of shame and a marking of a slave or as a prisoner of war or of a concentration camp. What the Austrians and the Germans did in World War II, was not the first time that Judaeans were hunted down, murdered or gathered up brutally, chained up and shipped off as captives or slaves, and then eventually tattooed. The Romans tattooed designations onto slaves, gladiators and soldiers [1] as a matter of regular practice in the Roman Empire until until around 325 CE, and when Judaea was wiped off of the map by Vespasian and Titus in 135 CE., hundreds of thousands of our great-great-great-X50 grand parents were led off by the Romans in chains into slavery and tattooed with markings to identify the Judaean slaves from the non-Judaean slaves for a Judaean slave was only worth a horse in value.
For the last two thousand years, the tattoo has been universally recognized as a sign of shame to the Tribes of Israel and for thousands of years a symbol of everything that is vapid, corrupt and finite about the Gentile world. In sharp contrast to our past, today we have tens of thousands of Jews around the world getting tattooed with every kind of image under the sun for every reason under the sun and the irony is that so many of them are getting tattoos of Jewish pride style imagery and of Biblical verses, it is simply astounding. This change in behavior and mentality all happened in a span of less than one hundred years.
The people of the book have become the people of the tattoo flash book.
Jews have assimilated so much into the Gentile world in the last couple of century that the origins of modern, electric tattooing has a Jew by the name of Lew Alberts to thank for it’s evolution and it’s course, ironically. Lew was directly responsible for introducing a wealth of new types of tattoo designs into the variety of tattoo styles and designs that were available such as the black panther for example, at the turn of the century.

Miami Ink
Today on television we see another Jew involved in the tattooing world helping shape it, and his name is Ami James, who is the star of his own hit reality TV series called Miami Ink. When the Miami Ink television show was first aired it became an instant and total success across the world. It was one of TLC’s most highly watched shows attracting between 5-6 million viewers a week and continues to air in syndication worldwide. TLC also capitalized on the success of the show with a Miami Ink Clothing Line and many lucrative licensing deals.
Ami immediately comes across as a pushy, edgy tough guy with a short fuse of a temper and if he didn’t mention that he was Jewish or Israeli, you’d probably never know it based on anything that you see. Ami is a very good artist, a very good tattoo artist and he has a head for business as well which is rare among artists. He wears no visible Chais around his neck, he has no magen davids tattooed on his elbows, he does not have an overt Yiddish or Hebrew accent, and his mannerisms belay nothing Judaic or Israeli. In other words he looks like a Goy, acts like a Goy, but since his mother is Jewish, he’s a Jew, but you’d never know it using the “You Look Jewish Test.” But don’t immediately assume that just because he seems so sanitized of his Jewishness or his Israeliness on the TV show that he is not proud to be a Jew or to be Israeli, because he is in his own way. Since actions speak louder than words, Ami already has proven his care for Am Yisrael, when Ami was eighteen he left America and joined the IDF when he did not have too, where he trained and served as a fighter, putting his life on the line to defend Jews in the Jewish State.
Is Ami James a Jew or an Israel to admire? That is for you to decide.
This is a video of a candid interview of Ami James done in NYC .
1. Jones, C.P. “Stigma”: tattooing and branding in Graeco-Roman Antiquity, Journal of Roman Studies, 1987, 77, 139-55: facial stigma represented extreme social degredation.