Jewish Mayhem
Issue 13
Punk Judaism Media
COMING SOON
012 The Barry White Singing Golem Vibrating Dildo
- The Barry White Golem Dildo
Dildos, vibrators, cock rings, anal beads, and vibrating anal bead dildos with attached cock rings, these are common words that are commonly used in the liberal Judaen lexicon, at least in the bedrooms.
Your thinking now: ‘Wait, hold on Josh, I don’t use those words in the bedroom nor do I use those things, and what the fuck is a Judaen?’
My response is: Not yet, and secondly Judaen is your real ethnic name, not Jew.
I hate to be the one to break the news but Judaens are generally pretty kinky and horny people and we always have been so. Raw, lusty sex is part of our national heritage and history, to some extent.
Here is one example of many juicy bits:
“Yet she multiplied her whoredoms, in calling to remembrance the days of her youth, wherein she had played the harlot in the land of Egypt. For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.”
(Ezekiel 23: 19-21)
“and lusted after her paramours there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose emission was like that of stallions.”
(Ezekiel 23: 21, NRSV)
I’ll bet your Rabbi never taught you about this juicy Biblical porn, and that is just the tip of the orgasm, as they say. While the Judaen people did not write the Kama Sutra, god bless India, we can be rest assured that a Judaen was behind the distribution and sales of the Sutra. On the other hand, we have the Tanach which has many stories and Dr Ruth Westheimer, and she kicks the shit out of the Kama Sutra any day.
Anyways, what the point of this article is of an original video below that I put only recently put together . It’s of the world’s first and only Golem vibrator that sings Barry White songs to vaginas. Pretty cool huh? I thought so too. Also, XXX pornstar icon Nikki Benz, wishes a L’haim to Jewish Mayhem.
[hana-flv-player video="http://jewishmayhem.com/video/Barry_dildo2.flv" width="500" height="460" description="The Golem Vibrating Dildo" player="4" autoload="true" autoplay="false" loop="false" autorewind="true" /]
Tattoo Mayhem 012
Tattoo Mayhem 012
Magen David, Star of David, Shield of David.
Submitted by D.
Artist: ?
More and more Judaens around the world are getting tattoos on their bodies despite the clear Biblical prohibition against getting them. One of the most popular designs among Jews are are Judaic symbols like the Magen David or designs that incorporate the star because the symbol represents being Jewish to them. These tattoos are not done out of spite but rather out of love and the desire to affiliate with their identity intimately. The funny thing or the sad thing about this phenomenon depending on who you ask, is that while the Magen David represents being Jewish and the State of Israel in this modern time in Israelite history, the fact of the matter is that the Magen David has very little to do with the Nation of Israel and the Tribes of Israel historically. There is very little reference of the Magen David in Rabbinic literature and nothing in the Tanach. There is no archeological evidence whatsoever that the Star of David had anything remotely to do with King David even.
How the Star became Judaicized to the level that it has and how it came to even be called the Shield of David, is a similar story to how the name of the exiles from the State of Judea, Judaens, over two millenia came to be called Jews, and Jew-ish. It wasn’t by choice as much as as it happened slowly over time because of external forces. The problem is that Judaens themselves have institutionalized the symbol and myth of the Magen David and words like Jew and Jewish, therefore perpetuating the problem and the myth, instead of using our proper names .
The Magen David is not a very Judaic symbol at all in contrast to the many specific Judaic images that we do have such as the Menorah, the shape of the ten commandments, angels and the symbols of the tribes of Israel, just to name a few better ideas for tattoos. Jews are not supposed to have tattoos however if you are going to get a Judaic tattoo, then get a truly Judaic image.
012 Hebrew Hottie: Yael Markovich
Agent: Mike Landers – modelinamanagement@yahoo.com
Photographer: John Graf www.JohnGrafPhotography.com et2nite@aol.com
We’re happy to introduce you to this issue’s Judaic beauty, Yael. Originally born in the Jewish State, like thousands of Israelis Yael’s parents moved to the US for greener pastures. Yael has a serious desire to work in the entertainment industry and she has been working hard at doing just that. So far she has been successfully obtaining serious work in various medias such as in television and in print.
According to her website bio, “Upon arriving to United States, Yael and her family lived in Queens, New York before relocating to Fort Lauderdale, FL. Yael grew up in South Florida and when she graduated high school she studied Makeup Artistry at Joe Blasco School of Makeup in Orlando, FL. After graduating from Joe Blasco, Yael launched her makeup artistry website – www.makeupbyyael.com- and decided to move to Los Angeles, CA to pursue a career as a makeup artist. When Yael arrived to Los Angeles she began working as a makeup artist on award shows, fashion shows, television, film,music videos, and photo shoots. Yael loved being behind the scenes but had always wondered what it is like being in front of the camera so when a photographer said he wanted to do a test shoot with her…Yael was thrilled. Since then Yael has started modeling full time, signed with a modeling agency, and launched a modeling website – YaelMarkovich.com”
Ht: 5’5 “
Hair: Long Brown
Wt: 115
Eyes: Brown
Measurement: 34B-24-34
Nationality: Israeli
Ethnicity: Syrian, Turkish, and Polish
Yael has a growing portfolio with some impressive credits thusfar:
TRADESHOWS/CONVENTIONS
Curve expo Lingerie model
AMP energy drink Promotional model
Dreamgirl Lingerie model
Leg Avenue Lingerie model
Chevy Motors Promotional model
SPOKESMODEL
Hawaiian Tropics Brand ambassador/ promotional Model
Playboy Golf Los Angeles Girl of Golf coordinator/Girl of Golf
TELEVISION
CSI Miami (3/09, 09/09) Lineup suspect, Pianist
Entourage (4/09, 6/09) Entourage girl
Lie To Me* Atmosphere
PRINT
Hawaiian Tropics Model
Askmen.com Featured Model
Maxim 2009 hometown Hotties semi-finalist
Macenstein.com Miss September 2009 Mac Chick of the Month
Trashy Lingerie Model
FILM
Couples Retreat Featured Atmosphere Vince Vaughn
RUNWAY
Paris Hilton fashion show Model
Foreplay Lingerie Show Lingerie Model
COMMERCIAL
Budweiser Cocktail Waitress
MUSIC
Mary Mary Runway model “God in me”
Pitbull Model “Blanco”
Lil Rob Model “summer nights”
John Nash Model “shine”
LANGUAGES
Hebrew Fluent
Spanish Semi-Fluent
Sign Language Semi-Fluent
TRAINING AND EDUCATION
A.A., Business Santa Monica College
B.A., Business USC
Playboy Mansion West Food Server
SKILLS
Belly dancing, Cheerleading,Salsa Dancing, Hip Hop dancing, Burlesque Dancing, Go-Go Dancing, Jazz Dancing, Loves Animals, professional makeup artist
Jewish Mayhem Online Magazine – Issue Yud Bet 012
Jewish Mayhem Online Magazine
Issue Yud Bet 012
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