Santa Claus being arrested and taken to the security center.

At 2:23 am Israeli time, Israeli Air Force anti-aircraft forces in the north of the country, equipped with the United States’ new X-Band radar detected a high flying, fast moving object of concern flying from east to west.  Fearing a Iranian ICBM attack, Israeli anti-aircraft missiles initiated and converged onto the target and successfully struck it.

Witnesses on Kibbutz Shelbogedeem located near the incident told JM reporters, “There was a loud explosion followed by many little pops.  I looked outside my window and to my amazement I saw millions of falling colorful boxes on fire falling, stuffed rabbits flaming and charred Transformers twirling and burning deer carcases landing everywhere. It was horrifying. I covered my children’s eyes.”  Resident of the area Moshe Shvur-Shmekel told JM: “I saw everything. It was like the fourth of July in America. Colorful explosions and falling stars everywhere. The pilot parachuted down in a beautiful green and red parachute with those colorful lights the goyim put  on their Christmas bushes things on the fringes of the parachute.”

At 3:48pm, Israeli security forces apprehended the pilot, dressed in a felt and velvet, red and white military uniform, and took him to the security station for questioning. Upon questioning it was determined that IAF forces shot down Santa Claus, who according to anonymous security sources, was on his warm up run before the big night. Israeli forces credit the New America X-Band radar for tracking Santa.

Prime Minister Netanyahu announced in a press conference this morning that the IAF shot down Santa’s sleigh, but that he sustained no injuries in the incident, however all of the reindeer did die in the incident. Santa will be fined $10,000 dollars and have to sit in jail for the next few days for violating Israel airspace and for tax evasion.

Santa Claus arrested Xmas cancelled