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012 Hamas is entering the world sexual prosthetic industry?

 

Hamas leaders making penis casts and sell dildos at Gazan markets to raise funds for war on Israel

According Jewish Mayhem’s Gazan media sources; due to Israel’s successful crippling blockade on Gaza, coupled with Egypt’s recent construction of it’s ground-breaking, underground, Arab-Apartheid wall, Hamas is resorting to using extreme  measures in order to generate needed funds for it’s war effort on Israel: Hamas is entering the world sexual prosthetic industry by marketing it’s first line of dildos to Gazan women in late 2010, called Pal-Esnises.

Seeing their income dwindle from the smuggled import of drugs and white prostitutes from Eastern Europe in the last few months Hamasa has ahd to come up with new means of income.  Hamas ordered Hamas’  most well endowed men to appear to the Koos Amak Mosque in Gaza city, and drop their drawers for Palestine in order to be casted as molds for the new line of sex toys. Inside sources in Hamas that need to remain anonymous told Jewish Mayhem via intermediaries, that the due to the small sizes of the Hamas members penises the entire project was in jeapordy; but the project was rescued when they finally settled for purchasing three generic models that were already available in China, which ironically were modeled after Jewish xxx legends Ron Jeremy, and Even Stone.

According to Jewish Mayhem’s sources in American Intelligence Community, this move by Hamas is direct retaliation to Hassan Nasrallah and to Hezbolla’s fighters recent acts of insulting Hamas fighter’s honor and dignity at joint terrorist events, parties and functions. “Hamas vows to be the biggest dicks on the terrorist block.” Is how Hamas leader Khaled Mashaal put it  one insider claims.

The Pal-Esnises come in two colors black and flesh colored, and in one size, large. They should be available for sale  off of Hamas official website

Palesnis Palestinian Dildo

012 Hebrew Hottie: Yael Markovich

 

012 Hebrew Hottie: Yael Markovich

Yael Markovich

www.yaelmarkovich.com

Agent: Mike Landersmodelinamanagement@yahoo.com

Photographer: John Graf     www.JohnGrafPhotography.com      et2nite@aol.com

We’re happy to introduce you to this issue’s Judaic beauty, Yael. Originally born in the Jewish State, like thousands of Israelis Yael’s parents moved to the US for greener pastures.  Yael has a serious desire to work in the entertainment industry and she has been working hard at doing just that. So far she has been successfully obtaining serious work in various medias such as in television and in print.

According to her website bio, “Upon arriving to United States,  Yael and her family lived in Queens, New York before relocating to Fort  Lauderdale, FL. Yael grew up in South Florida and when she graduated  high school she studied Makeup Artistry at Joe Blasco School of Makeup  in Orlando, FL. After graduating from Joe Blasco, Yael launched her  makeup artistry website – www.makeupbyyael.com- and decided to move to  Los Angeles, CA to pursue a career as a makeup artist. When Yael  arrived to Los Angeles she began working as a makeup artist on award  shows, fashion shows, television, film,music videos, and photo shoots.  Yael loved being behind the scenes but had always wondered what it is  like being in front of the camera so when a photographer said he wanted  to do a test shoot with her…Yael was thrilled. Since then Yael has  started modeling full time, signed with a modeling agency, and launched  a modeling website – YaelMarkovich.com

Ht: 5’5 “
Hair: Long Brown
Wt: 115
Eyes: Brown
Measurement: 34B-24-34
Nationality: Israeli
Ethnicity: Syrian, Turkish, and Polish

012 Hebrew Hottie: Yael Markovich

Yael has a growing portfolio with some impressive credits thusfar:

TRADESHOWS/CONVENTIONS
Curve expo                                  Lingerie model
AMP energy drink                       Promotional model
Dreamgirl                                    Lingerie model
Leg Avenue                                 Lingerie model
Chevy Motors                             Promotional model

SPOKESMODEL
Hawaiian Tropics                     Brand ambassador/ promotional Model
Playboy Golf                      Los Angeles Girl of Golf coordinator/Girl of Golf

TELEVISION
CSI Miami  (3/09, 09/09)           Lineup suspect, Pianist
Entourage  (4/09, 6/09)               Entourage girl
Lie To Me*                                 Atmosphere

PRINT
Hawaiian Tropics                             Model
Askmen.com                           Featured Model
Maxim                          2009 hometown Hotties semi-finalist
Macenstein.com      Miss September 2009 Mac Chick of the Month
Trashy Lingerie                          Model

FILM
Couples Retreat            Featured Atmosphere        Vince Vaughn

RUNWAY
Paris Hilton fashion show              Model
Foreplay Lingerie Show        Lingerie Model

COMMERCIAL
Budweiser                              Cocktail Waitress

MUSIC
Mary Mary                    Runway model           “God in me”
Pitbull                            Model                        “Blanco”
Lil Rob                           Model                        “summer nights”
John Nash                      Model                        “shine”

LANGUAGES
Hebrew                  Fluent
Spanish             Semi-Fluent
Sign Language   Semi-Fluent

TRAINING AND EDUCATION
A.A., Business                            Santa Monica College
B.A., Business                            USC
Playboy Mansion West                Food Server

SKILLS
Belly dancing, Cheerleading,Salsa Dancing, Hip Hop dancing, Burlesque Dancing, Go-Go Dancing, Jazz Dancing,  Loves Animals, professional makeup artist

012 Hebrew Hottie: Yael Markovich

012 Hebrew Hottie: Yael Markovich

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012 Hebrew Hottie: Yael Markovich http://jewishmayhem.com

Jewish Mayhem Online Magazine – Issue Yud Bet 012

 

cover 012 - Jewish Mayhem Online Magazine

Jewish Mayhem Online Magazine

Issue Yud Bet 012

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011 Things That Every Jew Should Know

 
Way to fucking go Israel!

Things That Every Jew Should Know 011

Sexy Topless Jewish Israel Hebrew Body Painting model Petra Nemcova Here are a few more interesting facts about the nation of people that should be dead in life and alive only in the history books and in particular about the land of Israel today, the third Jewish State. It was sent in to Jewish Mayhem from a fan.

The Middle East has been growing date palms for centuries. The average tree is about 18-20 feet tall and yields about 38 pounds of dates a year.

Israeli date trees are now yielding 400 pounds/year and are short enough to be harvested from the ground or a short ladder.

Israel, the 100th smallest country, with less than1/1000th of the world’s population, can lay claim to the following:

________________________________________________________________

Most of the Windows NT and XP operating systems were developed by Microsoft-Israel.

The Pentium MMX Chip technology was designed in Israel at Intel.

Both the Pentium-4 microprocessor and the Centrino processor were entirely designed, developed and produced in Israel .

The Pentium microprocessor in your computer was most likely made in Israel .

Voice mail technology was developed in Israel .

Both Microsoft and Cisco built their only R&D facilities outside the US in Israel.

The technology for the AOL Instant Messenger ICQ was developed in 1996 by four young Israelis.

Israel has the fourth largest air force in the world (after the U.S. , Russia and China ). In addition to a large variety of other aircraft, Israel’s air force has an aerial arsenal of over 250 F-16′s. This is The largest fleet of F-16 aircraft outside of the U. S.

Israel ‘s $100 billion economy is larger than all of its immediate neighbors combined.

Israel has the highest percentage in the world of home computers per capita.

According to industry officials, Israel designed the airline industry’s most impenetrable flight security.

Israel has the highest ratio of university degrees to the population in the world.

Israel produces more scientific papers per capita than any other nation by a large margin – 109 per10,000 people -as well as one of the highest per capita rates of patents filed.

In proportion to its population, Israel has the largest number of startup companies in the world. In absolute terms, Israel has the largest number of startup companies than any other country in the world, except the U.S. (3,500 companies mostly in hi-tech).

With more than 3,000 high-tech companies and startups, Israel has the highest concentration of hi-tech companies in the world — apart from the Silicon Valley , U. S.

Israel is ranked ..2 in the world for venture capital funds right behind the U. S.

Outside the United States and Canada , Israel has the largest number of NASDAQ listed companies.

Israel has the highest average living standards in the Middle East .

Sexy Topless Jewish Israel Hebrew Body Painting model Petra Nemcova The per capita income in 2000 was over $17,500, exceeding that of the UK .

On a per capita basis, Israel has the largest number of biotech startups.

Twenty-four per cent of Israel ‘s workforce holds university degrees, ranking third in the industrialized world, after the United States and Holland , and 12 per cent hold advanced degrees.

Israel is the only liberal democracy in the Middle East .

In 1984 and 1991, Israel airlifted a total of 22,000 Ethiopian Jews (Operation Solomon) at Risk in Ethiopia , to safety in Israel .

When Golda Meir was elected Prime Minister of Israel in 1969, she became the world’s second elected female leader in modern times.

When the U. S. Embassy in Nairobi , Kenya was bombed in 1998, Israeli rescue teams were on the scene within a day – and saved three victims from the rubble.

Israel has the third highest rate of entrepreneurship — and the highest rate among women and among people over 55 – in the world.

Relative to its population, Israel is the largest immigrant-absorbing nation on earth. Immigrants come in search of democracy, religious freedom, and economic opportunity. (Hundreds of thousands from the former Soviet Union )

Israel was the first nation in the world to adopt the Kimberly process, an international standard that certifies diamonds as “conflict free.”

Israel has the world’s second highest per capita of new books.

Israel is the only country in the world that entered the 21st century with a net gain in its number of trees, made more remarkable because this was achieved in an area considered mainly desert.

Israel has more museums per capita than any other country.

Medicine… Israeli scientists developed the first fully computerized, no-radiation, diagnostic instrumentation for breast cancer.

An Israeli company developed a computerized system for ensuring proper administration of medications, thus removing human error from medical treatment. Every year in U. S. hospitals 7,000 patients die from treatment
mistakes.

Israel ‘s Given Imaging developed the first ingestible video camera, so small it fits inside a pill. Used to view the small intestine from the inside, cancer and digestive disorders.

Sexy Topless Jewish Israel Hebrew Body Painting model Petra Nemcova Researchers in Israel developed a new device that directly helps the heart pump blood, an innovation with the potential to save lives among those with heart failure. The new device is synchronized with the camera helps doctors diagnose heart’s mechanical operations through a sophisticated system of sensors.

Israel leads the world in the number of scientists and technicians in the workforce, with 145 per 10,000, as opposed to 85 in the U. S., over 70 in Japan , and less than 60 in Germany . With over 25% of its work force employed in technical professions. Israel places first in this category as well.

A new acne treatment developed in Israel , the Clear Light device, produces a high-intensity, ultraviolet-light-free, narrow-band blue light that causes acne bacteria to self-destruct -all without damaging surrounding skin or
tissue.

An Israeli company was the first to develop and install a large-scale solar-powered and fully functional electricity generating plant, in southern California ‘s Mojave desert .

All the above while engaged in regular wars with an implacable enemy that seeks its destruction, and an economy continuously under strain by having to spend more per capita on its own protection than any other county on earth.

AND THE FRENCH AMBASSADOR IN ENGLAND SAYS :

” ISRAEL IS NOTHING BUT A SHITTY LITTLE COUNTRY”

Remember…

It can’t be world war III yet or France would have already surrendered
already.

Just some kosher food for thought…

Way to fucking go Israel!
Way to fucking go Israel!

010 Tattoo Mayhem – Master Tattoo Artist: Adam Sky

 
adamsky003Adam Sky: A Modern Day Tattooing Hebrew
Interview: Joshua Andrews
Photos: Adam Sky

The traditional manner to becoming a professional tattoo artist is to find a working professional tattoo artist that is also a master at tattooing and to shmooze him/her into taking you on as his/her apprentice. To explain the shmoozing and the process of apprenticing-tattooing is entire article unto itself, but suffice it to be said, that being taught how to tattoo by the right person or people in the right tattoo studio with the right working atmosphere is like someone else in another field learning at esteemed elite learning institutions MIT or Harvard or Oxford or Israel’s Teknion. Not every tattoo apprenticeship is created equal and some apprentice tattoo artists that are taught by the tattoo world’s elite tattoo artists have serious advantages over other apprentices who learn from average tattoo artists. Adam Sky is a Jewish tattoo artist who learned how to tattoo from a master tattoo artist years ago, and he has since worked his way tattoo by tattoo to becoming a world class tattoo artist of international repute.

adamsky010JM: Where were you born?
AS = In a hospital, weren’t you? I think it was Toronto…..

JM: Where did you grow up? What high school did you attend?
AS = I grew up in Toronto more or less, and I went to a variety of high schools although I was usually expelled from a new school every year. My parents on my mother?s side are gypsies. They taught me to steal (mostly pick pocket) and they insisted that I steal from other student?s lockers. I was in trouble with the law a lot as a kid. I hit a kid with a flaming 2X4 once and that was the last straw for me at high school. It was too bad because I was going to an art vocational school and getting good grades aside from my regular truancy.

JM: What is your Hebrew name?
AS = I don?t have a Hebrew name, but I was yelled at a lot in Hebrew….dads who caught me with their daughters….they called me a lot of names in Hebrew! You should ask them. I dated Rachael Rosen (daughter of Harry Rosen, as in Harry Rosen Clothes) when I was 14. Because my father?s name is Reichmann (as in the Toronto/New York Reichmann family), Rachael was excited to introduce me to her father. Rachael?s boob was the first boob I ever touched. It was truly a remarkable Jewish boob. We made out under her Boy George posters and turned The Young and the Restless waaaay up so her parents wouldn?t hear. Little did she know that although Reichmann was on my birth certificate, I was raised by gypsies as I was the gypsy love child in a secret scandalous Jew/Gypsy afair. To this day, I still get ?fuck off? money from the Reichmann family to not go forward and name names.

adamsky009JM: Are/were both your birth parents Jewish?
AS = Both my parents are Jewish although my mother is half Jewish, half Gypsy. My mother was my father?s fortune teller.

JM: Where were they born?
AS = In hospitals…..why do you keep asking that?

JM: : |
AS = )

JM: Where your grandparents from?
AS = My father?s side (Reichmann) is from Germany, specifically the Black Forest region. My Great Grandfather was famous for hijacking an airplane to escape Nazi Germany just before the War. The Reichmann family owned textile factories in Germany leading up to WWII. His factories were seized by the Nazis and my Grandfather had enough money to hire a plane to fly to Austria when he was just about to lose his company for good. He took his family and hijacked the plane and had it flown to England. The rest is history that?s widely available in modern Canadian/American Jewish history books. My grandmother?s side is very poor Romanian/Polish Gypsy stock.

JM: Did you go to Hebrew, religious school?
AS = No, I was too busy trying to pick pockets. If I didn?t steal enough, my mother?s boyfriend would lock me in the trunk of his Cadillac for days at a time. My father?s family set aside money for me to go to Hebrew school but my parents secretly spent it on livestock for our circus shows.

JM: Did you celebrate anything Jewish growing up?
AS = I was forced to join the circus at one point. My mother?s boyfriend was in serious gambling debt so he sold me and my sisters to the circus. True story! I was forced to perform with Scamp the Wonder Pig. No shit you should have seen the tricks that Scamp did! Her trainer was this Carney freak named Harold. He was this old dude, but he had that pig dialed in. I tried my hand at working with the pigs, but it didn?t work out. I got fired for hitting on the boss? girlfriend. Hey, you know? Oh, so no I didn?t really celebrate many holidays, although I used them as an excuse to get out of doing work at the circus. No pig feedings on the high holidays and Saturdays, you know? You ever seen a pig in a tu-tu? That shit is funny! Although I always appreciated the irony of a Jew working with a pig, even at that young age.

adamsky008JM: Have you traveled much?
AS = With tattooing, I have been around the States, Canada, and parts of Europe….hey; did you know that European women don?t shave their bits? Nasty! But you can phone up a hooker in Amsterdam and she will even bring you pizza and a bag of pot and even groceries!

JM: What were your artistic influences and what is your art background?
AS = My parents encouraged me to go to art school as early as 10 years old. I would reproduce my favorite comic book heroes all the time and I think they saw a future in art forgery that they could capitalize on. They had me forging cheques pretty early on. I liked art school because I could draw nude models and some of them were even pretty. I got thrown out of art school for pleasuring myself in the supply closet between classes. The models thought it was cute but the school director didn?t appreciate it. I got thrown out of 3 art schools in Toronto by the time I was 15. By the time I was in high school I was regularly failing my art classes as I found them not so challenging. Picking pockets was more challenging, as was stealing cars from the faculty parking lot. I once stole a vice-principal?s car and drove it as far as Halifax before being caught. I always appreciated Jackson Pollack. Early impressionism is my biggest motivator to produce tattoos.

JM: How did you come to learn how to tattoo?
AS = I was put in youth detention camp for stealing a car and driving it to Halifax when I was 15. My bunk mate encouraged me to learn how to tattoo as I was a very scrawny kid and an easy mark. I quickly applied my art background to makeshift tattooing. I love telling people I learned to tattoo in jail when they ask this question because it?s true! I only knew how to tattoo with soot scrapings from the cieling and a sharpened toothbrush for the first few years of my career. I eventually moved up to guns scavenged from Sony Walkman motors. Now I only use exclusive Buck Turgenson Irons. I?m one of the only tattooers in Canada to use these hard to find machines and my clients seek me out from all over because of this.

adamsky007JM: Who were your teachers for tattooing?
AS = I got my first job at my first tattoo shop at Biff Cooper?s Tat Shack, Guns, Gold and Tackle shop on the Danforth in Toronto. I worked there until I was in my twenties after Biff turned the shop into a marijuana paraphernalia store. There was always an amazing assortment of characters in that shop and it was a primo learning experience all around. Plus you get a lot of cool shit that people pawn and never pick up. There was this old timer, famous Canadian tattooer who worked there named Chat Wooley. He was this half Japanese gentleman and although he spoke really bad English, he taught me how to fish, paint ?Precious Moments? figurines and be a better lover. Chat and I were an item for a long time. We?d go for long fishing trips on hot summer Ontario days. Those were probably the most joyous moments of my life. Chat had one eye, Biff had a peg leg and there was a girl who worked there named Cecelia who had one boob (the other was fake). I was the only person there with all of his body parts (knock wood).

JM: Where did you tattoo?
AS = Mainly in Vancouver at Sacred Heart and at New Tribe in Toronto. I worked for Crazy Ace at Way Cool a bit too. Now he has stories. I traveled through the U.S. and Europe as well under Crazy Ace?s wing. Ace once had sex on the hood of a rental car so hard that he broke the car. True story! When the car wouldn?t start, I though it was a biker plot to blow us up. I checked the car for IED?s (Improvised Explosive Devices). I?ve worked with a lot of great people.

adamsky006JM: What was it like owning a tattoo studio?
AS = Fun and hell, all rolled into one. Its like being in an abusive relationship. That or getting a blowjob and a hug from your mom, all at the same time. It just feels wrong.

JM: Why did you sell it?
AS = After a few years of running my own shop, I got very disillusioned with tattooing. I left the tattoo shop to pursue a career in television. I was Johnny Depp?s stand in for two seasons of 21 Jump Street. The hours in working in television are killer and I eventually got fired for getting in a fist fight with Richard Dean Anderson (McGyver) about a video tape I had of him hitting on Catholic school girls. In the video, he?s so drunk, he falls into a snow bank and passes out. Richard Dean Anderson was such a hard core alcoholic that he?d sometimes film his scenes laying down because he was so loaded, he couldn?t stand. I gave up my TV career after getting offered to come back to Sacred Heart as an employee.

JM: Has your perception of being Jewish, the Jewish nation and of Judaism changed much since when you were younger?
AS = No. Judaism plays little to no role in my life or my identity. I strongly feel that organized religion is the most terrible invention ever devised by mankind and I encourage everyone to denounce it and live their lives in pursuit of their dreams with love for all human beings. The closest I come to agreeing with an organized ideology is Buddhism.

JM: Are you married, single, divorced? Any children? Is your wife/partner Jewish?
AS = Married and she is not Jewish. No children.

JM: Have you ever visited Israel?
AS = No.

adamsky005JM: Would you ever consider visiting (again)?
AS = No. I try to steer clear of areas over run by religious fundamentalists.

20. Have you ever gone to a synagogue or celebrated a Jewish holiday?
AS = No.

JM: How do feel about anti semitism?
AS = I think they need a hug.

JM: Have you experienced much of it?
AS = Recently, everyone?s been calling me the Radical Jew at the tattoo shop – ever since someone from your office called me for the interview.

JM: What is your perception of anti semitism within the tattooing industry?
AS= It?s not really an issue.

adamsky004JM: Have you had Jewish partners/ G.F.’s?
AS = Living in Vancouver, there are not many Jews to choose from and what Jews there are here, they really keep to themselves. I?m never invited to their parties. I had many Jewess girlfriends in Toronto growing up as I?d play the Reichmann card constantly. The parking lot of the Rabbinical Sisterhood Private School was a regular parking spot for my I-ROC as a teen. I think in the States, I-ROC?s were called Z28?s.

JM: How did you come to set up tattoodles?
A = I realized a consumer need. People kept asking where they could find tattoo designs online….well…..

JM: Did you have financing?
AS = Hell no. 100% me. Tattoodles was launched on $11,000 in 2001. We?re now the Web?s largest and most comprehensive tattoo site, selling over a half a million dollars in subscription sales every year. We have two employees and two computers. We?re keeping it real.

JM: How have you been able to make tattoodles a success?
AS = Being a reputable tattoo artist was a big part of it. Tattoo oriented businesses started by people who are not actually tattooers tend to crash and burn as they aren?t on the front lines with the tattoo artists and clients every day.

JM: What do you do for a living?
AS = I tattoo and run Tattoodles, and on the side I play harmonica in a jazz fusion band. I like to ride my motorbike up in the hills and play harmonica to relax. Stay with me people……

JM: What do you know of the Jewish conspiracy?
AS = I pay my Army of ZOG dues every month.

adamsky002 JM: How do you feel about the notion that Jews comprise less than 1% of the worlds population, and Israel is one of the smallest nations on Earth demographically, yet Jews and Israel are in the news disproportionately than their numbers suggest that they should be?
AS = The same way I feel about battered children that grow up to batter their own children.

JM: Do you like Gefilte fish?
AS = White fish am the debil.

JM: Have youever eaten cous cous or smoked a nargila?
AS = Lamest question ever.

JM: : |
AS = )

JM: What Hebrew or Yiddish words do you know?
AS = Only the bad things that fathers have yelled at me as I was running down the street holding my pants up……..its all a blur.

JM: Thank you Adam Sky
AS = Truly, Adam Sky

www.tattoodles.com

adam@tattoodles.com

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