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012 Do you speak Hebrew?”

 
Islamic hotties. Arabic sexy women, Muslim sex machine.

Islamic hotties. Arabic sexy women, Muslim sex machine.

Islamic hotties. Arabic sexy women, Muslim sex machines. Middle Eastern baby makers.

Do you speak Hebrew?”

The captain of a Syrian Air Force transport flying over the Mediterranean sends out a MAYDAY message: “This is Syrian Air Force # 174 announcing we have lost one engine and want to land at any airport in the Middle East OTHER than Israel!”
No answer.
A while later he announces, “This is Syrian Air Force # 174 again. We have now lost two engines and need to land at any airport in the Middle East OTHER than Israel!”
Silence.
A short while later the captain announces, “This is Syrian Air Force #174. We are desperate. We have now lost THREE engines an urgently ask permission to land at any airport in the Middle East OTHER than Israel!”
Still no answer.
Finally the captain calls out, “Help! This is Syrian Air Force #174. We have only one engine left and it is rapidly failing. Unless we can land we are going to crash. We need permission to land at ANY airport in the Middle East INCLUDING Israel!”
Shortly thereafter, a voice is heard in the Syrian cockpit:  “Shalom Syrian Air Force # 174. This is Tel Aviv approach control. We would like  to help. “
“Allah is praised,” says the Syrian pilot. “Please give me instructions.”
“Do you speak Hebrew?”
“No”
“Ok, then please repeat after me: Yitgadal Viyitkadash Shimay Rabbah…… ya ben zona”
Palestine is a myth.

Palestine is a myth.

009 Internet Humor & Identity

 

By Jewish Mayhem

In the beginning of online communication everything was real slow and basic. It was a time when only text and a few colors were possible to be sent back and forth online. One of the important facets of the online communication was the ability for users to identify themselves with some type of unique icon, name or identity but this was determined by the might and ability of the computer hardware and also the speed in which it was able to be transmitted over a phone line.

As computers became bigger and better and the internet became more and more accessible, mainstream and affordable, it was possible to send and to receive heavier file sizes. What this resulted in was larger and more complex types of imagery and icons were able to be used to identify oneself uniquely. In chat rooms and in discussion forums users were always prompted to display an image or a picture that was supposedly represent your profile to other people. The first version of images to be used were called JPEGs, pronounced J-Peg, which is an acronym that stands for Joint Photographic Experts Group.

Then along came a company called Compuserve and they invented a new type of file compression and encoding called a GIF, pronounced Jiff. The major advantage of GIFs was that images could be animated, transparent and/or interlaced. An animated GIF is a image without sound that carries several frames and these frames play one after another when the image is viewed, creating the effect of animation.

GIFs revolutionized the online communication experience because they allowed for more personalization of a user’s online identity as well as the simple fact that you could create animations,  so the end result of this was an explosion of cartoonized gifs. It got so bad that soon every website on the internet was inundated with cheezy gifs making them nauseating to see all of the time, however eventually a backlash developed against them and they disappeared almost completely from view.

Then along came a company called Macromedia who released Flash, which was a full blown animation program designed for the internet. Flash revolutionized everything once again, but most websites and in particular website forums and chat rooms did not allow for Flash to be used as icons, only GIFs and JPEGs. The GIF all of sudden reemerged from it’s grave.

Eventually video editing  and computers melded together and became affordable which enabled artistic types of people to encode  video parts as GIFs. What this resulted in was a digital art form unto itself called ani-gifs, which is short for animated GIFs. AniGIFs can be quite large  files depending upon how many frames it has and how many colors it uses and so it is only in the few years that serious aniGIFs have become usable as common features on websites and such. One of the funniest phenomenons to emerge from aniGIF making and video capturing is the phenomena of digital artists taking an existing anigif and tweaking it so that it fits into another context.

In this feature I would like to present a few aniGIFs and their various morphs that they have endured over the years. The final result of aniGIF tweaking is a hilarious and very entertaining art and peculiar medium which I hope you enjoy. The first aniGIF is a video capture of a overweight child with some sort of issue or problem or condition or simply having a happy attack.

Jewish Mayhem Funny Animated GIFS

This is what some saavy digital artist turned the child into, but it did not stop here.

Jewish Mayhem Funny Animated GIFS

It became quite political.

Jewish Mayhem Funny Animated GIFS

There are a few more variations which I will append to here when I find them, but let us move onto another example.

Here is a video capture turned GIF of a casting call for martial arts performers.

Jewish Mayhem Funny Animated GIFS

Hilarious. Just fucking priceless! This dude is infamous now just like that orthodox Jewish kid who on American Idol, smashed his face onto the ground while executing what was to be a brilliant move, I think.

Jewish Mayhem Funny Animated GIFS - laserhead

But then along came Laserhead, some guy who tweaked existing aniGIFs by adding his character laserhead into the picture.

Here is another example of Laserhead inserting himself in an otherwise funny GIF.

Jewish Mayhem Funny Animated GIFS - laserhead

Let’s take a look at another GIF. Here is The Governator of California from one of his movies.

Jewish Mayhem Funny Animated GIFS -

Hilarious!

On a Jewish note, here is Rav Yehoshua Sofer otherwise known as the kung fu Rabbi and 2 examples of people chopping him up.

Jewish Mayhem Funny Animated GIFS - Kung Fu Jew

Jewish Mayhem Funny Animated GIFS - Kung Fu Jew

As more and more AniGIFs emrged a new style of aniGIFs came out known aniGIF Mashups, where sections of movies or television are mixed together in humorous manners.

Jewish Mayhem Funny Animated GIFS -

###END###

009 HeeB The Defiant Jewish magazine

 

HeeB

The Defiant Jewish magazine

998Heeb MagazineHeeB Magazine is an established Jewish print magazine based out of New York City that is best known for it’s edgy, humorous cultural and religious parodies and spoofs of religious and cultural icons and features on young, hip Jews making-it in the Galut (Outside of the Land of Israel). HeeB Magazine was established in 2002 in New York City by a small group of defiant Liberal American Jews who had some raging against the Jewish machine to do and they were armed with an arsenal of opinions, ideas and an agenda.

HeeB is overtly ethnic, intelligent, graphic magazine, not at all like a MAD or CRACKED or National Lampoon’s magazines, but it definitely is not your regular, traditional media either like Time magazine or Newsday either, HeeB is original and so it is not really like anything else that you have come across. HeeB has always been printed on a nice quality, thick paper stock with a solid binding which displays their rich, thought provoking, original images nicely which is something that I personally prefer in a magazine.

Since it’s founding five years ago, HeeB’s staff and the magazine have certainly had their fair share of coups and crashes, but all in all they deserve many kudos for providing consistent A-list music, movie and media features such as with the Beastie Boys and Sarah Silverman among other pop names. I have been a consistent subscriber to HeeB since it first began and will continue to be one because I enjoy it’s witty, and even raunchy Jewish satire but this wouldn’t be an honest critique of HeeB if I didn’t vent my opinions either, such as that HeeB is way too New York centric for me most of the time and in fact does not represent the type of Jew that I am or my experiences as Jew whatsoever, HeeB is sometimes too sacreligious and unoriginal with it’s use of cliche’ anti-religious humor for my tastes. But for all of HeeB’s faults in my eyes, I value their existence and frankly if they listened to my criticisms then HeeB would not the same magazine that I like so much.

Every media source needs something to set itself apart from the rest and Heeb has done that without a doubt and now with thirteen issues under their belts HeeB seems to have a very good handle on things, attributed to ‘s HeeB’s Editor Josh Neuman. You can likely buy yourself a copy at your local major magazine store in your area or you order a copy online at their website.

Unlike most magazines which are very much advertising dominated for economic reasons, HeeB is not in my opinion and as a matter of fact it offers spoof-ads in their place which parody real Jewish-household consumer names such as Manischewitz.

Jewish Mayhem Online Magazine Issue TET

 

Jewish Mayhem Online Magazine Issue TET

Jewish Mayhem Online Magazine

Issue Tet 009

_____________________________________________________________

  1. About Issue 009
  2. He Is For His Beloved And His Beloved Is For Him
  3. HeeB : The Defiant Jewish magazine
  4. Jewish Joke Mayhem 009
  5. President of Iran 009
  6. Internet Humor & Identity
  7. Jewish Pussy
  8. Tattoo Mayhem 009
  9. Image Mayhem 009
  10. The Beastie Boys : Jewish Mayhem Cooks Up a Beastie Good Time
  11. Yiddish Mayhem 009
  12. Hebrew Hottie 009: Alex
  13. The King of Gonzo Pornography
  14. Video Mayhem 009 – UNIVERSAL FACE
  15. Gif Mayhem 009
  16. Partying Israeli Style
  17. Israeli Army Hotties 009
  18. Photographic Mayhem 009: Justin Price
  19. Music Mayhem 009:  one-of-the-men-behind-the-music-that-you-love
  20. The Last Prophet 009: Uncomfortable Questions For Comfortable Jews
  21. Documentary Mayhem 009
  22. Sheik Hassan Nasralla 009
  23. Passion of the Mel 009
  24. Map Mayhem 009
  25. Things That Every Jew Should Know

008 Jewish Mayhem’s Top Ten Gifs

 

Yasser Arafat King of the Fools

Jewish Mayhem’s Top Ten Gifs 008

By Jewish Mayhem
Images created by assorted artists

GIF (Graphics Interchange Format) is a type of bitmap image that was introduced to the graphics world in 1987 and because of its wide support and portability you see them everywhere on the internet today. GIF’s have color limitations which makes the GIF format useless for print and unsuitable for photographs, but what GIFs are great for are for simple images such as graphics or logos with solid areas of color. The most notable facet and greatest potential of GIFs that it’s designers never imagined was it’s ability to make audioless animations known as animated GIF’s or ANI-GIFs for short. Around the world talented artists with chutzpa and wit and who have mastered the art of making animated GIFs have taken ANI-GIFs in directions nothing short of hilarious, shocking, and outrageous.

I have found tremendous humor and have laughed buckets of snot from ANI-GIFs over the years and I am proud to present to you my top 10 ANI-GIFs for issue 007. If you like this feature then let me know and I will do a 2nd list next issue.

Enjoy.

Yasser Arafat King of the Fools

Yasser Arafat – The King Of Fools

Darth Pope

Darth Pope

A solution for Judaic Treason

A solution for Judaic Treason

Donald Duck was Mel Gibson's Father

Donald Duck was Mel Gibson’s Father

Donald Duck was Mel Gibson's Father

Donald Duck was Mel Gibson’s Father

Muhammed Loves Jews and Israel

Muhammed Loves Jews and Israel

Reefer Madness Pink Electric Jesus

Reefer Madness Pink Electric Jesus

Run Yassin Run

Run Yassin Run

Jesus Ate Jewish babies

Jesus Ate Jewish babies

So Jew Think Jew Can Dance?

So Jew Think Jew Can Dance?

So Jew Think Jew Can Dance?

So Jew Think Jew Can Dance?

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