JewishMayhem.Com is an online Jewish magazine that features the coolest, the craziest, and the most comical aspects of Jewish, Israeli, Hebrew, and Biblical culture
Animated GIFs are one of the best ways of getting cheap laughs off as you will see. The creativity of animators these days is amazing as some of the anigif creators have begun to mashup different movie clips to make a single clip that kinda makes sense.
Cheers
1/ The eyeball sees the trees through the forest.
2/ Palestinian mating ritual. Surprise Baby! Now that’s love!
3/Hungry little bugger.
4/If you raff at this, you ruse!
5/ The force….feed is strong!
6/ Ever get up close to a pussy and have it laugh in your face?
7/ This did not end well for the dog…in reverse.
8/ Mecha-Masturbata
Is this device a:
a) A Dutch army tank.
b) Yet another German form of kinkiness.
c) Polish domestic violence
9/ This is what MENSA children do for fun. Yes, he did land in the neighbors pool,
10/ Wave your arms like this whenever you are in trouble.
Yasser Arafat may be hero to many, but he doesn’t mean shit to me. One of history’s most disgusting and vile human beings to ever live was the late Nobel Prize winner Yasser Arafat. Yasser Arafat’s greatest achievement was that he invented a nation that never existed in history and then bamboozled the nation’s of the world into believing the falsehoods, but it can also be argued that Yasser Arafat also earned the title The King of Terrorism as well. But that is not all, according to new shocking revelations to surface in the underground Arab media recently, Yasser Arafat was the mastermind of a homosexual sex cult known as Ibn Zubiie.
According to Arab underground press Al Sabbaba and it’s sources, Yasser Arafat was in fact a homosexual his entire life and very predatory in his sexual predilection’s and behavior that even spilled over into international politics. According to the sources, beginning back in Egypt in the late Nineteen-fifties, Arafat’s charisma and fiery, passionate speeches about slitting the throats of every Jewish man, woman and child and drinking their blood for Allah, were big hits in Egypt’s gay bath houses, which according to Al Sabbaba, is where Arafat garnered his first followers and financial backers.
Al Sabbaba reveals that Arafat’s hatred for the Jews and later Israel, actually stemmed from the fact that Arafat blamed a Jewish plastic surgeon in Cairo named Menachem Mendel Ibn Yusuf, who Arafat hired at great expense, to try the first ever known Middle Eastern gender changing operation on Arafat sometime around 57′. But the operation failed and Arafat was permanently disfigured and that is what truly fueled the birth of the PLO and later on engineering acts of mass homicide on defenseless Jewish civilians.
It had always been a mystery to Western Intelligence agencies and to World policy makers as to how Arafat was able to obtain so many faithful, die-hard followers who were willing to do any thing for him, until now that is according to Al Sabbaba. All Sabbaba reported that Arafat often held extravagant parties which he used to indulge new recruits with libations of every kind until before the new recruit knew what was happening, he were participating in a ten man and one midget, Arab style, , gangbang, which was recorded for blackmail. Apparently Arafat had a well practiced analingus technique that was legendary among the Arab and Muslim gay communities.
Also allegedly, Al Sabbaba reports that Arafat’s homosexual desires spilled onto the international scene and World politics and diplomacy when he tried to kiss VIPs on the lips and even slipped diplomats the tongue, numerous times over the decades. Each time the awkward moments were covered up as cultural differences in greeting procedure.
Al Sabbaba also alleges that the reason why Arafat had been able to manipulate Israel into capitulating politically and militarily to every demand time and time again, is because he possessed blackmail material on many of Israel’s most influential movers and shakers provided by their sources in The European, Russian and the American governments. Also extraordinarily, that the reason why assassinated Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin was assassinated was because Rabin found out about how he was manipulated and that he was going to reverse the Peace Process and crush the entire Balestinian leadership once and for all, that conveniently now resided just minutes away in Judea and Samaria and Gaza.
For the last two thousand years, the tattoo has been universally recognized as a sign of shame to the Tribes of Israel and for thousands of years a symbol of everything that is vapid, corrupt and finite about the Gentile world.
Jewish Mayhem Online Magazine
In our holy Torah, in sefer Leviticus (Vayikra) 19:28, it is explicitly written that Jews are not allowed tattoos. Why tattoos are forbidden to Jews exactly is not explained anywhere else in the Torah but the topic is elaborated on in numerous locations in the Talmud, which only compound the gravity of violating this prohibition.
The Levitical prohibition is a non-sensical prohibition in the sense that we do not know why the Creator forbid us from getting tattoos because it is not explained explicitly like in the cases of other laws mentioned. We are able to deduce notions as to the Creator’s reasons, such as that it is an abomination or that it is what the Canaanite nations did in those Biblical times and we had to be different from them, but we do not have a specific, simple explanation. In leu of this law’s simplicity, it is completely fair and proper to deduce and to state that tattoos are utterly and completely not Jewish, or Judaic or Hebraic in any sense or capacity based on the ultimate Jewish source, the Torah.
There have been a few instances in Jewish history and culture that we know of when multitudes of Judaeans were tattooed in such numbers as they are today, but in stark contrast to today’s phenomenon which is by choice, every other time in Jewish history, Judaeans were forcefully tattooed en masse by Gentiles as sign of shame and a marking of a slave or as a prisoner of war or of a concentration camp. What the Austrians and the Germans did in World War II, was not the first time that Judaeans were hunted down, murdered or gathered up brutally, chained up and shipped off as captives or slaves, and then eventually tattooed. The Romans tattooed designations onto slaves, gladiators and soldiers [1] as a matter of regular practice in the Roman Empire until until around 325 CE, and when Judaea was wiped off of the map by Vespasian and Titus in 135 CE., hundreds of thousands of our great-great-great-X50 grand parents were led off by the Romans in chains into slavery and tattooed with markings to identify the Judaean slaves from the non-Judaean slaves for a Judaean slave was only worth a horse in value.
For the last two thousand years, the tattoo has been universally recognized as a sign of shame to the Tribes of Israel and for thousands of years a symbol of everything that is vapid, corrupt and finite about the Gentile world. In sharp contrast to our past, today we have tens of thousands of Jews around the world getting tattooed with every kind of image under the sun for every reason under the sun and the irony is that so many of them are getting tattoos of Jewish pride style imagery and of Biblical verses, it is simply astounding. This change in behavior and mentality all happened in a span of less than one hundred years.
The people of the book have become the people of the tattoo flash book.
Jews have assimilated so much into the Gentile world in the last couple of century that the origins of modern, electric tattooing has a Jew by the name of Lew Alberts to thank for it’s evolution and it’s course, ironically. Lew was directly responsible for introducing a wealth of new types of tattoo designs into the variety of tattoo styles and designs that were available such as the black panther for example, at the turn of the century.
Miami Ink
Today on television we see another Jew involved in the tattooing world helping shape it, and his name is Ami James, who is the star of his own hit reality TV series called Miami Ink. When the Miami Ink television show was first aired it became an instant and total success across the world. It was one of TLC’s most highly watched shows attracting between 5-6 million viewers a week and continues to air in syndication worldwide. TLC also capitalized on the success of the show with a Miami Ink Clothing Line and many lucrative licensing deals.
Ami immediately comes across as a pushy, edgy tough guy with a short fuse of a temper and if he didn’t mention that he was Jewish or Israeli, you’d probably never know it based on anything that you see. Ami is a very good artist, a very good tattoo artist and he has a head for business as well which is rare among artists. He wears no visible Chais around his neck, he has no magen davids tattooed on his elbows, he does not have an overt Yiddish or Hebrew accent, and his mannerisms belay nothing Judaic or Israeli. In other words he looks like a Goy, acts like a Goy, but since his mother is Jewish, he’s a Jew, but you’d never know it using the “You Look Jewish Test.” But don’t immediately assume that just because he seems so sanitized of his Jewishness or his Israeliness on the TV show that he is not proud to be a Jew or to be Israeli, because he is in his own way. Since actions speak louder than words, Ami already has proven his care for Am Yisrael, when Ami was eighteen he left America and joined the IDF when he did not have too, where he trained and served as a fighter, putting his life on the line to defend Jews in the Jewish State.
Is Ami James a Jew or an Israel to admire? That is for you to decide.
This is a video of a candid interview of Ami James done in NYC .
1. Jones, C.P. “Stigma”: tattooing and branding in Graeco-Roman Antiquity, Journal of Roman Studies, 1987, 77, 139-55: facial stigma represented extreme social degredation.
One of the reasons why so many members of the tribes aka Jews, do not bother to observe anything Judaic whatsoever today is because the Judaism that Orthodox Jews keep today and insist that all Jews must live by is in fact mostly man-made, rabbinically decreed laws, traditions and customs enacted in the last two thousand years of exile, and not from the Tanach literally. Wearing a head covering is not a Biblical commandment and yet today it is integral to being a pious Jew,this is just one example of many. The Judaic Biblical holiness that we read about in the Tanach that may have been given to us by the Creator at Mt Sinai, it seems has been buried almost to death by rabbinical takanot and historical circumstances and replaced with the Talmud, the Shulchan Aruch and The Rebbe’s writings.
On the other side of the spectrum, the act of humans picking and choosing which parts of the Tanach that they like and throwing out the ones that they do not and then calling that Judaism, as is the case with Reform, Conservative, Egalitarian sects of the Jewish world, is so absurdly fraudulent that it is embarrassing and shameful. Many Jews have seen this fraud their entire lives and as a result of it’s repugnance, they fled and have assimilated to become media moguls and famous artists and actors. In fact, most of Reform Judaism’s clergy do not believe in a Creator and do not believe that most events in the Tanach actually really and truly transpired, however they have no problem taking your parents money and your money to teach you and your children about …Judaism.
The religion of science, rational thought and institutional cynicism is more appealing to many Jews than Torah is because science provides answers or a means to come to an answer, whereas the Torah is a book of fairy tales in comparison. Evolution is a indisputable paradigm and Creation is an unproven, theoretical fairy tale still, dinosaurs are found in all of the World’s museums, but only one archaeological piece of evidence, The Moabite Stone, exists confirming the existence of a Jewish king named David that built the first Temple.
However despite science’s value, every Jew knows that s/he has a soul, and that the soul is not a scientific or quantifiable thing. Our emotions and passion and compassion are special things outside of the realm of probes and sensors and experiments. The soul or our life force somehow interacts outside of the human realm. It is our Jewish soul which tells us that we are indeed a part of something bigger and greater than ourselves, that their is something more to life and to existence than than just science, Yahweh?
So how does one live like a Jew then?
The answer to that question is without a doubt found in the pages of the Tanach especially in the book of Leviticus (Vayikra). However one of the first things that you may discover to your complete surprise is that most of the customs and culture that truly define Judaism and what a Jew is supposed to do and when s/he is supposed to do it, are predicated on the existence of the Jewish Temple (Beit HaMiqdash) in Jerusalem, which has not existed for almost two thousand years as a matter of fact. It gets even more complicated by the fact that the place where the Temple (Beit HaMiqdash) is supposed to stand is occupied by a Muslim Mosque today. The Jewish Temple (Beit HaMiqdash) is integral to Judaism and being Jewish, and yet sadly today most Jews believe that the Western Wall is our holiest place, but have never heard of the (Beit HaMiqdash).
So once again the question is:, how does someone live like a Jew without the existence of the Temple?
Keep the Sabbath as a day of rest is a great place for everyone to start but also begin learning about the Temple (Beit HaMiqdash) and what it’s purpose is.
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Animated GIFs are one of the best ways of getting cheap laughs off as you will see. The creativity of animators these days is amazing as some of the anigif creators have begun to mashup different movie clips to make a single clip that kinda makes sense.
Cheers
Laserhead hates fat swimmers diving
Dont let your kids fuck around with your lightsabers and the Force!