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012 Gif Mayhem

 

Animated GIFs are one of the best ways of getting cheap laughs off as you will see. The creativity of animators these days is amazing as some of the anigif creators have begun to mashup different movie clips to make a single clip that kinda makes sense.
Cheers

1/  The eyeball sees the trees through the forest.

Funny Animations - animated gifs

2/ Palestinian mating ritual. Surprise Baby!  Now that’s love!

gf011cFunny Animations - animated gifs

3/Hungry little bugger.

Funny Animations - animated gifs

4/If you raff at this, you ruse!

Funny Animations - animated gifs

5/  The force….feed is strong!

Funny Animations - animated gifs

6/ Ever get up close to a pussy and have it laugh in your face?

Funny Animations - animated gifs

7/ This did not end well for the dog…in reverse.

Funny Animations - animated gifs

8/ Mecha-Masturbata

Is this device a:

a) A Dutch army tank.

b) Yet another German form of kinkiness.

c) Polish domestic violence

Funny Animations - animated gifs

9/ This is what MENSA children do for fun. Yes, he did land in the neighbors pool,

Funny Animations - animated gifs

10/ Wave your arms like this whenever you are in trouble.

Funny Animations - animated gifs

012 West Coast Jewish Hip Hop

 

Arson Wells - West Coast Jewish Hip Hop

Arson Wells - West Coast Jewish Hip HopIn this feature I am going to introduce you to another Judaen exile making his musical mark on the planet who hails from the West Coast of the United States of America. I stumbled upon his music on Myspace a few years ago and have I have followed his career since and today I am happy to be able to introduce him and his arts to you.

Flash required

MC Arson Wells

JM: Who are the Jews in your family? Both Mother and Father Jewish?

I get my Jewish Heritage from my Father’s side of the family. All of my family on his side are of Jewish Descent.

JM: Any interesting Jewish family? Interesting lineage?

My Great Grandfather was a Russian Jewish who came to the US when the Czar was kicking Jews out of Russia. The story of Fiddler on the Roof is a lot like what happened in my family. My Great Grandfather made the Journey to the US on a freshly painted cattle boat. The fumes were very toxic and everyone was sick the entire trip from what I understand. He actually was traveling through the woods to stay off the main roads because he was with another family who had a sick child that was crying and they didn’t want to be caught. They missed the first boat because of the detour. Thank God they missed it because the first boat sank and everyone on it drowned. I wouldn’t exist if it were not for that detour.

JM: How do you define yourself? A rapper? A hip hop artist? Producer?

An MC

JM: Where did your “name” come from?

I used to just go by the name Arson or the Unknown Arsonist. I was signed to a local independent label along with an artist RicaSShay. One day he said “yo you should go by the name Arson Wells”  an ever since then that shit just stuck with me.

Arson Wells - West Coast Hip HopJM: Are you signed to any labels?

I am independent/unsigned right now.

JM: How many CD’S/Albums have you released so far?

I am just about to finally release my debut project “ The Trials and Tribulations of Arson Wells ”

JM: Who were your biggest musical influences when you started?

Geto Boys, Ice-T, N.W.A., Above The Law, EPMD, Organized Konfusion, Digital Underground, Public Enemy, 2Pac, KRS-One & LL Cool J. That was my era. To me it won’t ever get better than that.

JM: Whose music influences you today?

Local San Diego Artists who bring heat time and time again and are still under estimated in the Hip-Hop world.

JM: Where did you grow up, where were you raised and where is home for you?

I was born in Southern Oregon and then moved to South San Diego California. Both of these places I will always consider home. I’ve got a lot of homeboys that live in both places that I got a lot of love and respect for.

JM: Is Tupac really alive?

NO. When you get blasted there ain’t no coming back.

JM: Whose music rubs you the wrong way?

I can’t stand most of the rap music that comes out today. I won’t even call it Hip-Hop because that shit is dying. I can’t stand the D4L’s and all that other glitter and glam cornball bullshit you hear on the radio. That shit makes me sick. They have destroyed something I have cherished and loved since I was 12 years old and made a mockery of it. Real Hip-Hop is found in the streets and neighborhoods and underground clubs. The airwaves are filled with the same commercial bullshit. “It’s the Ice age and nobody realize what they doing to Hip-Hop’s gonna make it die”

Arson WellsJM: How did you get to where you are now? What were the big breaks and events?

I’ve been writing rhymes and rappin since I was like 12. I been in a few different crews; the shit always falls apart do to one thing or another whether it’s jealousy, lack of commitment, money, etc. That’s why I’ve realized it’s all about me now. I’ve wasted so much time Fucking around, waiting for other cats to fulfill they part of the bargain and do they thing, and to come with there part of the money to put out projects and this and that, I’m just over it. I been making chips on the streets for years, so I guess I got no one to blame but myself. I could’ve been put my shit out a long time ago, I just keep getting caught up in another hustle, and another hustle. You know. My album is 11 songs done right now. I only need like 4 or 5 more joints to finish up and I got popped with a case. Now I’m f acing two felonies and the pigs got my ass for like 14 g’s. Its all good though, I’m trying to beat they bullshit case, I got me a dope lawyer on the mix so I’m crossin my fingers. But listen to my music, its real life shit. What I say in my music is real talk. I do what I say in my rhymes and that’s just the game we play in.

JM: Has there been anyone who has mentored or really helped you along the way?

There have been a few cats, but I won’t mention names because I did a lot for these cats to and in the end they all just snakes in the grass. Backbiters and backstabbers.

JM: When did you first start getting into the performance side of music?

Around 2000

JM: Who do you hang out with, anyone noteworthy?

Mostly my patna RicaSShay and Ceke Blanko from Bike Choke Family. Also my Engineer Steelz.

JM: What song has had the biggest impact on you personally?

Geto Boys- My Minds Playin Tricks On Me

JM: What do you write about in your songs?

I write about the hood, my hood and what I’ve seen coming up, hustling, revolution, anti-government, anti-police hardcore money motivating HIP-HOP!

JM: What bothers you about the music business?

It’s so commercial and nobody buys records anymore. Everything can be downloaded. Fuck it, I do it to. Shhhhhhhhhh…….you gotta love this shit to still do it

JM: How has being a Jew or in other less popular words, has having Jewish blood in your veins made a difference in your life?

It’s shaped who I am as a person. Once people find out you’re a Jew they can act like it doesn’t bother them, but I think deep down inside most of them they have a astigmatism about our people. The negative stereotypes, which are utter bullshit, always come up so whenever you have a run in with someone they are quick to bring up your heritage. Right off the bat “the stingy or greedy Jew muthafucker did it”. People start trying to throw the same old shots like “your people killed Christ” as well as a long list of other derogatory bullshit. I always know that no matter what the only people that will ever understand our people is our people.

JM: Is being a Jew important to you? Please explain.

Like I said it defines who I am as a person. We as Jewish people all know who we are and what is expected of us. The Torah is set in stone. Whether we choose to follow it or how strict we follow its laws are our decisions. I wouldn’t say I am the best example of a practicing Jew, but I try to my best and keep my head up while living in this dog eat dog world we reside in.

Arson WellsJM: Is there anything today about Judaism and the Jewish world that really affects you or really bugs you?

The thing that bothers me the most is all the end fighting between our people. No matter what synagogue you go to or what sect of Judaism you follow, you’re still Jewish. That means represent your people to the fullest no matter what. We all came from Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; Period…end of story.

JM: What do you do for beats?

I work with a few different local producers as well as a producer in New York for my beats.

JM: Do you play any instruments?

My voice.

JM: What is your favorite city?

Sunny San Diego California

JM: Have you been to Israel?

Unfortunately no. I am going no matter what within the next couple years. If your Jewish, you have to make that excursion sometime in your life. It’s just a necessity.

JM: Do you know what tribe you are from? Levi, Judah?

My Grandfather told me we were from the tribe of Levi.

JM: Do you pay attention to what is going on with Israel?

Yes. It’s a shame to see all of the fighting over OUR land. Things seem to only be escalating. It has been this way since Israel was declared a nation. Right away here comes Egyptian fighter planes trying to bomb us. Then it was Syria I believe. We are surrounded by the Enemy. All we want is our land. The whole Middle East is filled with Islamic countries. We deserve our place. Israel will always need freedom fighters to stand up and represent the Jewish people like David Ben-Gurion and Simon Weisenthal. If you’re a Jew be proud of it. Stand up and speak up for your people no matter what criticism you’ll get.

JM: What’s coming up for you?

I’m coming close to dropping my album “ The Trials & Tribulations of Arson Wells”

I just came out on DJ Green Lantern’s newest mix-tape “Myspace Invasion 3” as well as having 2 features on RicaSShay’s album Enough is Enough. Which just dropped this month. I am also featured on the new Proof of Life mixtape coming out later this year

JM: What’s your favorite piece of musical equipment?

I like stringed instruments. If used right over a hard drum track you can make a banging ass beat.

JM: Any tours and if so, with who and where are you touring?

Everyone on the Proof of Life mix-tape will be going on a  West Coast tour to promote the album and radio station. Proof of Life radio can be heard Wednesday nights between 9-11 PM Pacific Time at the following address: proof-of-life.net/radio

JM: Which one of your songs do you like the most and why?

Man I have a lot of favorites. It’s hard to tell which one I like the most. It changes every time I do a new song that becomes my favorite until I top that with something even better.

West Coast Jewish rapperJM: How do you feel about the state of the world, life and shit?

I think the state of the world is fucked up. The Middle East keeps getting worse and worse. As for my neighborhood muthafuckas is broke, starving, strung out and shit. Cops stay harassing me and my boys. It’s like every week another one of my boys gets locked up, or catches another case; including myself. We wouldn’t be out there on the street doing what we do if we had better ways to feed our kids and shit. We all just stay hoping that this music grind pays off in the end and we don’t have to put our lives in jeopardy no more. The economy’s all fucked. Everyone losing there houses and shit. Unemployment’s at an all time high. When cats can’t get a job what the fuck do they do to get dough….rob, steal, sell drugs, whatever the fuck. That’s just life.

JM: Have you been in the media yet, and if so, how so?

I’ve had small little spots in magazines hear and there. Getting a little pub from time to time. Nothing to major. I’ve been on local television a couple times. I get a lot of love on the Internet. I have met a lot of contacts by having writes up and features on different sites out there. This year I just barely stepped my myspace game up. One of my boys was trying to get me on that shit for a couple years. I wasn’t trying to hear it. To caught up in the day-to-day struggle to be dealing with games and shit; but then I opened my mind and just started politickin and have gotten a lot of love and response from the myspace joint as well. www.myspace.com/arsonwellsmusic

JM: Are you a spiritual or religious person?

I would not say that I’m religious by any means. Religion is just another way for organized groups to try and control people and brainwash them into their way of thinking. As for being spiritual; definitely. Life would seem hopeless if I didn’t have faith that Elohim was watching over me. I see so much negativity all around me that I have to go to synagogue just to release some of the pressure and get some of the pain off my chest. It’s a good counterbalance to the rest of the world that eats away at your soul on a daily basis. I try to observe the high holidays, eat kosher, and live righteously as much as possible. It’s just hard when you live in Babylon society.

Thanks

Joshua Andrews

###END####

012 Do you speak Hebrew?”

 
Islamic hotties. Arabic sexy women, Muslim sex machine.

Islamic hotties. Arabic sexy women, Muslim sex machine.

Islamic hotties. Arabic sexy women, Muslim sex machines. Middle Eastern baby makers.

Do you speak Hebrew?”

The captain of a Syrian Air Force transport flying over the Mediterranean sends out a MAYDAY message: “This is Syrian Air Force # 174 announcing we have lost one engine and want to land at any airport in the Middle East OTHER than Israel!”
No answer.
A while later he announces, “This is Syrian Air Force # 174 again. We have now lost two engines and need to land at any airport in the Middle East OTHER than Israel!”
Silence.
A short while later the captain announces, “This is Syrian Air Force #174. We are desperate. We have now lost THREE engines an urgently ask permission to land at any airport in the Middle East OTHER than Israel!”
Still no answer.
Finally the captain calls out, “Help! This is Syrian Air Force #174. We have only one engine left and it is rapidly failing. Unless we can land we are going to crash. We need permission to land at ANY airport in the Middle East INCLUDING Israel!”
Shortly thereafter, a voice is heard in the Syrian cockpit:  “Shalom Syrian Air Force # 174. This is Tel Aviv approach control. We would like  to help. “
“Allah is praised,” says the Syrian pilot. “Please give me instructions.”
“Do you speak Hebrew?”
“No”
“Ok, then please repeat after me: Yitgadal Viyitkadash Shimay Rabbah…… ya ben zona”
Palestine is a myth.

Palestine is a myth.

008 E-SHY isn’t so shy after all

 

Rap artist E Shy

E-SHY isn’t so shy after all

By Dustin Herlich

E-SHY isn’t so shy after allE-SHY’s career started in childhood.  Born and raised in New York City, E-SHY realized his talents early and began writing poetry.  After winning competition after competition with his poetry, people began to notice.  Recognition meant people started writing beats for him and the rest, well, read on…

E-SHY knew that winning a poetry competition was one thing, but to gain respect, especially in the hip hop world, he had to earn it.  E-SHY began competing in rap contests while still a teenager.  Coming out on top in these competitions as well, he began to work with underground producers who gave him not only beats to work with, but precious studio time.

A Jew’s family is often your biggest critic.  In E-SHY’s case though, he was lucky enough to have support.  When pressed about the issue, he responded “My family is all artists; they really were fine with what I was doing”.  While his family respected his creativity, on the mean streets, life could be a different story. “I was a White, Jewish rapper.  I really had to earn respect.  It was a completely uphill battle”.

That didn’t faze him all that much since “(I) started as a battle MC.  I can hold my own”.  To him, a Jewish rapper is a whole new level.  “I got into putting Judaism into my music fairly recently.  It started post 9/11.  The world changed.  I wanted to use my music to rile the crowd, get people angry”.  In this different world “Jewish kids have to stand up for themselves.  They have to be proud.  You should be upset by what’s happening in Israel, the violence in the Middle East.  You should be proud to be a Jew.”

In his own words “Judaism is part of who I am and part of who I am as an artist.  I won’t shy away from what I am”.  He recommends that the rest of us take on a similar philosophy and stand proud.  Like many artists, music unfortunately isn’t his day job yet, but his day job is even more immersive in Jewish culture.  “I work for the United Jewish Appeal.  I’m there all day raising money for them.  I can’t escape Judaism, no matter what I’m doing”.

E-SHY’s career started in childhood.  Born and raised in New York City, E-SHY realized his talents early and began writing poetry.  After winning competition after competition with his poetry, people began to notice.  Recognition meant people started writing beats for him and the rest, well, read on…Living in New York, there are two cultures that at times seem almost identical. “In New York, you have a strong Jewish an Italian connection.  I want to explore that more”.  From this desire to explore the pizza bagel comes the idea for Kosher Nostra.  It’s an upcoming clothing line, and musical project that combines canoli culture with that of kreplach.

To some, hip hop and Judaism still seem like an uneasy mix, but E-SHY reminds us that “Jews have always been behind the scenes of hip hop, but there are almost no front men.  You have the Beastie Boys for sure, but other than that, it is all behind the scenes”.  Indeed, you have outlets like Source Magazine, and now WHO?MAG, all heavily Jewish, but outside of Israel, your Jewish front man is rare.  Rare as he may be “guys in the industry appreciate me.  I’m proud of who I am.  A big part of Jewish culture is humor, and spoken word.  Hip hop and rap are great ways to combine those two things, but at the same time, express anger when I need to”.  Music is famous for being a vehicle for messages.

eshy-headshot1E-SHY takes a particular liking to hip hop and rap because “it’s all about the message.  It is a forum for free speech and activism”.  He goes on to add “hip hop has an edge.  You can make it raw, hard, and I use that.  A hip hop song is an essay.  It’s not so much about the guitar solo as much as it is driving home a message.”  You certainly can’t argue with that.

Coming up, we are going to see a lot of new things from E-SHY.  He’s looking to get out and about in the world and explore.  More into producing quality material than he is simply making money from his work, E-SHY strives to put that something extra into his songs.  “I’d like to pull from the Torah, use biblical stories.  I’d like to re-tell these stories through my music”.  “Matisyahu really opened doors for Jewish artists in hip hop.  People are starting to take us more seriously; this is still a growing movement.  It’s important too for the Jewish emcee to take himself seriously.  Sometimes, we joke around too much.  People can only laugh for so long”.

What’s an artist to do when he has close ties and constant access to Israel through his day job, and a passion for Jewish music the rest of the day?  The answer for E-SHY is to actually head east, and start working with artists in Israel.  “I respect the rappers in Israel, the really keep it real.  They’re honest.  I respect their art”.  Respect is one thing, but “(I) want to bring the no-nonsense rap here.  No apologies”.  With trips in the works, we can expect that E-SHY’s next few releases will have some bold lyrics and an aggressive style all his own.

You can check out E-SHY’s music by logging in to his myspace page:

http://www.myspace.com/eshyonline.

You can order his CD online at http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/eshy.

007 Hebrew Mayhem

 

lashon-hakodesh

Dustin HerlichBy Dustin Herlich

Lashon Hakodesh, which translates to “holy language”, is an essential pillar of Judaic life, both culturally and spiritually.  Hebrew is a tie that binds, and it binds tighter than the grip of your over-protective mother, or your innards after eating too much Matzo.  Throughout the ages, the ability to read Torah and pray in Hebrew has been passed down from generation to generation even under threats of certain death.  Considering how important Hebrew is to our ritualistic life; not to mention every day life in Israel for almost sixty years, we can safely assume that what we speak is essentially the same as our forefathers, right?   Unfortunately, no, we can’t.

temple

While written Hebrew has emerged from the sands of time remarkably intact, being carefully preserved through training and tradition, the spoken component has morphed and changed as the influence of other cultures seeped its way into Jewish life.  Not only that, but as Jews began living outside of Eretz Yisroel, they picked up bits and pieces of local accents and language along the way.  Today, we have what we call Modern Hebrew, which is the every day language you’ll hear in any Tel Aviv night-club and we have the Biblical Hebrew we are all familiar with from synagogue services.  For us anglicized fellows, think of it like the difference between Shakespeare, and how you talk now.  What you learned in Hebrew School might sound fairly archaic; it is still not completely true to the original.  The written letters and grammar might be there, but the elocution is not.
While there is some doubt regarding this position on proper pronunciation, a growing number of scholars and Rabbis are now seeing the light.  Leading the way in this enlightenment is Rav David Bar-Hayim, Av Beth Din of Machon Shilo (www.machonshilo.org) and head of Makhon Ben Yishai Institute for Torah Research.

According to Rav Bar-Hayim, “Our language is unlike any other- it comes direct from the Creator Himself… we know that the world was created in Leshon Haqodesh”.  Rav Bar-Hayim goes on to explain that several factors have influenced the decline of Hebrew pronunciation over the ages.  Primarily, the fact that Jews have been scattered throughout the world since the destruction of the second temple is to blame.  As Jews moved into new lands, they took on new accents.  You can be sure that the Hebrew spoken by a French Jew sounds very different than that of an American.  How about the difference between that of an American from the North of the US, or one more accustomed to Southern Drawl?

Also, if your family has been living in a Diaspora community for several generations, you’ve probably never had the opportunity to hear the correct pronunciation, how are you to know what it actually is?  Thankfully in the modern information age, and with the help of modern scholars like Rav Bar-Hayim, we can bring back what was once “lost” knowledge.  There are still communities of Sephardim and Taymanim (Yemenites) that do pronounce Hebrew correctly, and we can learn from them.  According to Rav Bar-Hayim, the Taymanim are actually the ones who have done the most faithful job of keeping proper pronunciation alive.

protohebrew

Rav Bar-Hayim is not alone in this thinking, and in his written works cites such scholarly heavy-weights as Avraham Yishaq Hakohen Kook and Rabbi R. Ya’aqov Emden.  As Rav Bar-Hayim points out, it was Emden that wrote in his Siddur that “Pronunciation must be complete and correct… Particularly one must not confuse alephs with ‘ayins and hehs”.  It is these details, and the attention to these details that set Rav Bar-Hayim apart from many of this peers.  As Hillel Greif, student of the Rav’s and webmaster of www.torahlight.com says “The first time I met him; I just knew there was something different.  I knew the very moment I met him that he was a special man, and I just had to learn from him.”  The Rav has often been seen as a controversial figure, but anyone who attempts to challenge the status quo is subject to be marginalized and called controversial.  During the time it took to write this article, the Wikipedia entry for the Rav changed as least twice, moving back and forth from a simply informational page, to  one filled with knocks on his character and political views.

hebrew

Rav Bar- Hayim’s mission is more than just to correct our accents; the Rav uncovers discrepancies in modern Judaic practice, and seeks to correct them.  By going back to original sources such as the Mishna, and the Jerusalem Talmud (as opposed to the Babylonian Talmud), Rav Bar- Hayim is able to bring back what has been lost to the majority of practicing Jews for centuries.  By bringing Judaism back to its roots, back towards correct procedure, pronunciation and ritual law, we strengthen the world Jewish community, and revitalize the very concept of what it is to be a Jew.

According to Hillel Greif, “It should matter to you that you are fulfilling mitzvah correctly.  If you’re not, then what’s the point”?  Hillel later went on to add “that’s one of the greatest things about Rav Bar- Hayim, he wants you to think for yourself.  He says to you “you can believe what you want, and keep doing things the way you are doing them, but have you done your home work like I have?  Have you read all the right Talmud Passages?  The Mishna?  Rashi?”  I’ve done my research, if you think you can correct me, cite a better source.” You can follow what the Rav says, but he only wants you to do it after you’ve looked into it yourself, and taken it upon yourself to properly carry out Jewish law”.

For more information on some of Rav Bar Hayim’s work, you can visit www.torahlight.com, as well as www.machonshilo.org.  Both sites house extensive collections of the Rav’s work.

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