Issue Vav | Jewish Mayhem Online Magazine

Hebrew Hottie 006

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Aug 212009

Hebrew Hottie 006

Hebrew Hottie: Lauren Rubin

Photography by Justin Price
www.justinprice.com

Hebrew Hottie 006 : Lauren

NAME? – Lauren Rubin
PLACE OF BIRTH? – CA. But I grew up in Long beach Long Island back east!
WHERE DO U LIVE NOW? – Oregon
STATUS? – In a relationship

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN? – Gemini
EYE COLOR? – True green
HAIR COLOR? – Black
HEIGHT? – 5’5 1/2
AGE? -21

MEASUREMENTS? -34’23’34
RIGHT OR LEFT HANDED? – Both
MY HERITAGE? – Italian Jew
EDUCATION? – College AA degree in Business
PROFESSION? Undecided

YOU HAVE NEVER TAKEN DRUGS? – ?
ANY PIERCINGS? – Top and bottom belly piercings
ANY TATTOOS? – none
WHAT KIND OF SHOES ARE YOU WEARING TODAY? – Ugg boots its snowing where I live
WEAKNESS? – Gossiping FEARS? – Spiders

PERFECT PIZZA?- Hawaiin pizza
FAVORITE JEW? – Don’t know.
FAVORITE JEWISH MUSICIAN? – Matisyahu?
BEST JEWISH MEMORY? – My Grandma’s matza ball soup it’s quiet amazing!

WORST JEWISH MEMORY? Dont have one!
WHAT DO YO ULIKE MOST ABOUT JEWS AND BEING JEWISH? My huge beautiful family, and our togetherness with everythiing
WHAT DO YO DISLIKE MOST ABOUT JEWS AND BEING JEWISH? The stereotype of being cheap and an extreme saver of money. I shop a lot and I spend on things of quality and excellent workmanship.
IF YOU COULD FIX SOMETHING IN ISRAEL, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Not enough room to write about that!

FAVORITE MUSIC? – Little bit of hip-hop,ragee, country, R&B & Brittney Spears I love her!
FAVORITE SPORTS PERSON? – Derrik Jeeter
GOALS? – To get my degree and be a plastic surgeon
YOUR MOST OVER USED PHRASE? – What do you mean? I say that a lot and people tend to get annoyed.

YOUR BEST PHYSICAL FEATURE? – My stomach
YOUR BEDTIME? – Dont have one!
PEPSI OR COKE? – Diet Pepsi
McDONALDS OR BURGER KING? – Eww neither

CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA-CHOCOLATE? – Obsessed with chocolate
CAPUCCINO OR COFFEE? – Dont drink coffee
DO YOU SMOKE? -… not cigarettes
DO YOU SWEAR? – Sometimes

DO YOU SING?- YES as much as possible
ARE YOU HEALTH CONCIOUS? – Yes, and I work out alot
WHAT ARE YOUR PARENTS BACKGROUND? – European/Italian
DO YOU LIKE THUNDERSTORMS? – I guess
TURN ONS: Beautiful tattoos on beautiful men TURN OFFS? – Aggressive men

DO YOU PLAY AN INSTRUMENT? – Piano
WHAT COUNTRY WOULD YOU LIKE TO VISIT? – Italy cause I’m an Italian Jew!
TOP OR BOTTOM / Dominant or Submissive? I like to switch it up
ANYTHING ELSE? – You can let them know if they want a signed copy of a print ect. they can email their info to lrubin000@yahoo.com
ANYTHING ELSE? – Link to myspace. www.myspace.com/laurenrubin

My screensaver/wallpapers are now available to download to your cell-phones. My personal banner where you can purchase them will be up soon. Till then you can go to www.Delivertheshocker.com and find Lauren Rubin to downlaod then to your personal phone!!!

Thank you very much Lauren.

Hebrew Hottie 006 : Lauren

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14 things you are least likely to hear at a circumcision

Issue Vav 1 Response »

Aug 212009

14 things you are least likely to hear at a circumcision

Jewish Joke Mayhem 006

By Shimon Nathan
(russoblanco28 @ hotmail.com)

“Hold on a minute. If I’m the guest of honor shouldn’t i sit in the back?”.

” Do you hear the emotional vibration in this kids voice? he is either going to do voiceover or become a Cantor”.

” We have been around for a long time. the vikings stopped circumcision’s as a religous practice, and we dont hear about them anymore. Do we ?”.

” I heard that when they do the ceremony, they buy the kid gifts. So i bought him some preparation H”

” It couldn’t hurt”

“Our forefathers would have done this alot earlier if they knew they could have gotten a free Bagel, Lox and Cream Cheese out of this. But in that type of climate they they were in it would have been nice if it would have come with some Orange Juice as well”

His mother wants the name to be, You Sexy Beast”

“It is customary if you are jewish, to take a piece of the foreskin from a boy when he is a infant and for a girl to shop with her and Lord and Taylor till she is 20″

” Before we begin. there is a tradition that our family has been practicing for the past 20 years. And that is to play ’2 out of three aint bad’ by Meat Loaf before the actual ceremony begins”

“This is the best way of getting a 5% discount that I can think of”

“That guy doing the circiumcision; didn’t he used to be my barber”

“Just sit back and relax”

“By the time this is finished, this kid will be asking us if he can go to a wine tasting”.

“This is done as a preventative measure; so that the kid will behave and only concentrate on his schoowork and eating. This works till he is 18″.

About the writer
Shimon is a 29 year old, single, employed funny Israeli born Jew living near chicago who likes lame 80′s music and live jazz. He grew up religous in a chasidic environment but is more of a relaxed “regular guy”.

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Jewish Metal Mayhem 006

Issue Vav Comments Off

Aug 212009

Jewish Metal Mayhem 006

By Jewish Mayhem

Gracious help provided by Aviva – Metal Israel

Much respect to the David Segal former pop music critic of The Washington Post and Jeffrey Goldberg, former Middle East correspondent of The New Yorker. FOUNDERS OF jewsrock.org

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Where does I come up with my ideas and where do I find the stories and content that we feature? The answer to them all is look for the mayhem and there you’ll find the Jew.
I learned that lesson in fact from Orthodox Rav Shmuel Spiro of the ChinaTown Shule in Chinatown in downtown Toronto. He often has individuals who work downtown and when their loved ones pass away they need a location to say Kaddish. Sometimes they do not have enough men for the minyan and require a tenth so where does R. Spiro goes to find Jews? Straight to the lineups outside of the Chinese food restaraunts and even sometimes in them while they are waiting. If that doesn’t pan out, he goes to Abby Roach’s legendary HotBox cafe just around the corner where plenty of Jewish stoners lounge, shmooze, eat, drink and get high, and there he scores the Jews for his minyan.

Take for instance the crazy, hedonistic world of heavy metal out of the multitude music genre’s, if you look hard enough you’ll find Jews on stage and off of the stage in management and production. On stage, you have Israeli born Gene Simmons of legendary supergroup KISS, Ian Scott of ANTHRAX, and Geddy Lee of RUSH are just a few Hebe’s who rock onstage.

While I have every intention of trying to acquire candid interviews with them, what I am really interested in is chronicling artists and bands who are on their way up the success ladder, and an amazing source for that is in fact our homeland, Israel.

In the last five years there has been a veritable big bang of Israeli metal, thrash, and punk bands and solo artists onto the Israeli music scene where there were none before. Once upon a time not too long ago, an Israeli metalhead and a mohawk bearing punk rocker were definately anomalies to see in Israel but for a variety of reasons, Metal and Punk music have since seriously manifested themselves there.

I have a excellent series of new articles on Jewish Metal Mayhem coming and the first feature is on a band called AMASEFFER www.amaseffer.com

These guys have something really interesting going on and the quality of their sample tracks are amazing. Amaseffer’s first CD will be the first in a trilogy of CDs and the basic concept behind their project is it’s an epic, cinematic scope sized project with huge philharmonic orchestrations, all wrapped in pounding drums and heavy guitars about the Biblical story of Exodus.

Jewish Mayhem contacted AMASEFFER the moment I net surfed their myspace profile to their website. It is apparent that these guys are putting tremendous amount of thought and their own money and resources behind their work and that they have something very special to offer.

JM: Shalom AMASEFFER

Erez: Shalom from Israel Joshua, I’m Erez Yohanan , founder and drummer of Amaseffer. Thank you for trusting in what we do and we hope we meet one day.

JM: Where are each of you from exactly?

Erez: I’m Erez yohanan and I’m from Tel-Aviv, Yuval Kramer is from Jerusalem , Hanan avramovich – Jerusalem ,
Andy kuntz – Germany

JM:What are you backgrounds?

Erez: We are all full time musicians and we are involved in some way or another in the Israeli metal scene.

JM: What inspired this project?

Erez: I wanted to write this concept for a long long time but i did not think i have the maturity as a person and as a musician . 3 years ago i thought it was the perfect time to start writing it and that’s what i did . I’m a strong believer and i knew that if i ever write a concept based on a bible story it would be this one , the Exodus story. The biggest event in the bible. The trilogy will cover the story from the slavery period in Egypt all the way to the death of moses and entrance to the promised land.

JM: How did you hook up with Andy Kuntz?

Erez: After we had a few songs in hand i contacted his manager and told him about the project, the concept behind it and that i want Andy to be the singer on it. A few days later Andy contacted me and i told him everything about Amaseffer and the concept of the trilogy. I sent him our music and he got really connected to it immediately. He is a very spiritual person, through his religion of course, so it was clear to him that he want to be a part of Amaseffer .

JM: What are your musical influences?

Erez: We don’t let music influence us , we love every music that touches our soul and make us complete. of course metal is the main thing for us but also classical music, all kind of oriental stuff and much more.

JM: Are you guys shomer mitzvot or shabbat?

Erez: We are all shome mitsvot and very strong with our religion. It is who we are and we keep that in our heart and soul every single minute in our life.

JM: Any plans on touring?

Erez: Yes but it will be only when the CD is out so it is a bit soon to talk about touring.

JM: Any upcoming shows?

Erez: Not at that moment .

JM: What would you change in Israel or with the Jewish people if you could?

Erez: I would not change a single thing , we are who we are and that’s what make the Jewish people so different and unique.
the name of the band , Amaseffer (“Am-Haseffer” in the holy bible) people of the book was chosen for that reason.

We are the chosen ones and we should stay like that by keeping our identity.

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